FOLLOWING WHAT MATTERS TO YOU.

BOSTON BRUINS
Bruins-claim-3-0-series-lead-with-third-period-rally 5/22/13 - Bruins claim 3-0 series lead with third period rally
BACK
Add the Boston Bruins to My HUB

May in the Boston School Cafeteria

by Sean Melia       June 5th, 2012 1:54 PM
  • May-in-the-Boston-School-Cafeteria
  • Credit: David Butler II-US PRESSWIRE

    • The school year is winding down to a close. Students are looking forward to the summer, and teachers try really hard to hide the fact that they are also excited for a few months away from these pocket-sized terrors.

    May was an exciting month in the Boston Cafeteria; many athletes rose to the challenge of tournament play, some used the month to lift their team above .500, while another decided he wanted to take a year off to find himself.

    Cool Kid Table

    Kevin Garnett


    KG has the same reaction when you try to sit in his seat. Credit: David Butler II-US PRESSWIRE

    KG has been unreal in the playoffs for the Celtics. His leadership, scoring, rebounding, and defense have all driven his team to the brink of the Finals, but his biggest problem is buying lunch. The school principle started a swear jar after noticing the rampant issue with students swearing at anyone and everyone, even while exchanging pleasantries.

    Garnett is the biggest offender and no matter how much money he brings to school; by lunch time he has usually put it all in the swear jar. He normally depends on his buddy Rajon to lend him a few bucks.

    KG sent shockwaves through the school one day following his favorite lunch, Sloppy Joe's. (NSFW audio)

    Rajon Rondo
    The star point guard played superb basketball in May, averaging 17 points, 12 assists, and 7 rebounds per game. However, his biggest assist to the entire school was a parody of “Call Me Maybe” entitled “Call Me KG” that he wrote with Mickael Pietrus (revealed at bottom of the post).

    Rondo was inspired by the JV baseball team's video they made during a road trip.

    Tom Brady
    Tom Brady traveled the world with his girlfriend during most of the spring semester. However, for the few weeks he was around he took some time to hang out with the drama geeks and the A/V club, and together they made a superb video with Brady as the star.

    Jarrod Saltalamacchia
    A teacher's worst nightmare during roll call also became a pitcher's worst nightmare this May. He hit .308 with 15 RBI and 6 homers, including a walk-off.

    Adrian Gonzalez
    While his work at the plate has come under severe scrutiny, his selflessness earned him a spot at the table for May. The Gold-Glove first baseman moved to right field so the team could prove that Kevin Youkilis is tradable due to multiple injuries to the outfielders.

    Loser Table

    Daniel Bard
    The former relief pitcher had a 5.03 ERA in May, and walked 21 batters while only striking out 13 in 34.1 innings. His most recent start was a train wreck in which he walked so many batters people were starting to wonder if Bard was trying to raise money for Cancer Research.

    Now it is starting to look like the Daniel Bard experiment will end with him heading back to the bullpen, maybe after some time on the Junior Varsity.


    “It’s ok sweetie, Daddy’s just going to sit at the Tea Party table.” Credit: Greg M. Cooper-US PRESSWIRE

    Tim Thomas

    Thomas announced that he would not be returning to the NHL next year, leaving the hockey team high and dry with one less scholarship to offer a younger player. Tuukka Rask has taken his chair at the hockey table, and many believe Timmy will never get it back.

    After three years at the school, Thomas leaves with one year on the High Honor Roll; however, his other two seasons were average. He only earned low B's and also pissed off the student council after a Facebook incident and his habit of ignoring the Student Body President during numerous bake sales and school dances.

    While his talent will be missed, it seems his personality might not be.

    Call Me KG
    Written by Rajon Rondo and Mickael Pietrus

    I threw a dunk in your face,
    You know the rim is my place,
    I stared at you in disgrace.
    You better get of out my way.

    I'll knock you onto the floor,
    Send your ass out the door,
    Hey, LeBron you want more?
    You better get out of my way.

    Your nerves were showin',
    Floor burns, blood was flowin',
    Big game, keep it goin'!
    The Jungle's rockin', baby!

    Hey, I just blocked you,
    And this is crazy,
    But here's my death stare,
    So call me KG.

    It's hard to look right, at you Dwyane Wade,
    But here's my death stare.
    So call me KG.

    Hey I just blocked you,
    And this is crazy,
    But here's my death stare.
    So call me KG.

    And all Wade's teammates try to front me,
    But here's my death stare.
    So call me KG.

    The ref took his time with the call,
    Wade took no time with the fall,
    he couldn't hit nothing at all,
    And now he's bricking shots.

    I swore, stole, and hit shots,
    Told LeBron to F&*k off,
    I knew he would back off,
    He was in my way.

    Your nerves were showin',
    Floor burns, blood was flowin',
    Big game, keep it goin'!
    The Jungle's rockin', baby!

    Hey, I just blocked you,
    And this is crazy,
    But here's my death stare,
    So call me KG.

    It's hard to look right, at you Dwyane Wade,
    But here's my death stare.
    So call me KG. 2x

    Before you came into the lane I played some help D, I played some help D, I played some help help D.
    Before you came into the lane I played some help D, and you should know that, I played some help help D.

    What did you think? Leave a comment

    TOPICS

    RELATED STORIES
    More

    Fan Hub Action

    LATEST CHATTER

    Mariano Rivera Is Having a True Hero's Exit

    • Jeanne-Marie Jansen Lowell May 23rd

      Greatest relief pitcher EVER! Someday we can all tell our grandchildren we got to see him pitch. A true legend!

    • Charlie Lobosco May 23rd

      Ask Craig; I’ll say it again; not the best relief pitcher ever; the best MLB player ever. Yes, that includes everyone.

    • Jim Lowell May 23rd

      Great tribute to a great player, a great Yankee, and a great man.Thank you!

    • Frank Lowell May 23rd

      Great job, Ryan! As a life-long Yankee hater since the 1950’s in the closing days of the Brooklyn Dodgers, I can only sit back and…

    Belly putter ban to is an attempt to hinder the evolution of golf
    Rangers, Bruins ready to resume hostilities
    The irony - and bravery - of Jason Collins's decision

    • Charlie Lobosco May 1st

      This is a very compelling story because Mr. Collins is a very passionate, tough, intelligent, athelete taking on some additional responsibliity to help others as…

    • Scott Cohen May 1st

      Charlie.. very well said.. he does have guts

    POPULAR NOW

    Mariano Rivera Is Having a True Hero's Exit

    May 22nd, 2013 2:56 PM

    2
    Rangers, Bruins ready to resume hostilities

    May 16th, 2013 12:13 PM

    1
    Belly putter ban to is an attempt to hinder the evolution of golf

    May 23rd, 2013 1:49 PM

    1

    ALL TIME FAVES

    Despite tragedy, Boston and its marathon will endure

    April 16th, 2013 12:15 PM

    6
    Tiger on top is the best thing for golf

    April 9th, 2013 11:57 AM

    18
    The irony of Kobe Bryant's injury

    April 16th, 2013 3:48 PM

    15
    Questions about sexuality arise at combine

    March 1st, 2013 8:37 AM

    10

    Twitter Chatter

    PEOPLE

    VIDEOS